if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
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She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
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It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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