Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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