when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
