i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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