Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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