my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
