my vag is so smooth its legendary
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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