i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
