He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize