do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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