lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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