I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I think i got beer on your cat.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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