my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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