I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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