Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
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We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
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Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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