duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
