it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
it's like iHOP with fire
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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