I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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