saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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