Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Drunk walkin through police station. America
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize