i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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