Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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