it wasn't lemon gatorade
high people should be assigned attendants
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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