Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize