we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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