So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
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