jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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