I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Randomize
