piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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