I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
