Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
