Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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