the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize