So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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