i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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