The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
