"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
