So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
