i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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