so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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