also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
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You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
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I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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