whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
