I hate all girls vehemently.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Is her dick bigger than yours?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
