I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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