I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Your cock deserves a montage
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
