Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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