so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
