omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
