i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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