Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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