y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
