it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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