those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I'm always down for nudity.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize