This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
