Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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