wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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