I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize