Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Randomize
