he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize