Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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